When we notice ourself feeling constricted, or stagnant, or stuck—all words to describe the same phenomenon—ask ourself what we are resisting. We’ll probably know the answer right away. It might be a change of some kind: perhaps a shift in diet or in your personal practice, or maybe in our attitude toward our family life, our relationships, or ourself.
Once we’ve noticed the arena of resistance, let ourselves feel the sensation of resisting. What does the resistance feel like in our body?
Having reached into the feeling space of resistance, ask ourself, “What do you have to tell me? What is this resistance about? Why are you there?”
Ask the questions and then just wait to see what arises. It may be a feeling, a thought, a belief, or a fear.
Keep asking until we feel that we’ve sensed as much about the resistance as possible. Feel that we are listening to it.
Then ask the resistance, “What would happen if I let go?” Notice what arises. Then ask ourself, “Would I be willing to let go—just for a moment?” Notice what arises in the wake of the question. There should be a sense of ease and relaxation, perhaps small, perhaps greater than we thought possible.
As we practice being present to our resistance with this questioning attitude, something does let go. Resistance eases. Just as people want to be heard, so do our psychological states. Sometimes just listening to what our resistance wants to tell us is enough for it to open the gates and free us.